Battle of the Best
by Armor King
Summary: Not a pairing fic! Just a quick humorous fight between Final Fantasy characters: Squall, Cloud, Tidus, and Zidane.


(-Author's Notes-) 

Well, Here I am with a short none-pairing Humor-fic. That's right! This is quite a switch for me, eh? So, No pairings in this fic. I repeat: NO PAIRINGS IN THIS FIC! A-anyway, This is going to be a fight between the newer generation Final Fantasy leads: Squall (FFVIII), Cloud (FFVII), Tidus (FFX), and Zidane (FFIX). Wait till you see who wins. I'm also gonna be experimented with a different way of typing: Script format, meaning like this... 'Name of Character': 'What they say'. Then, Actions and facial expressions will be placed beneath the name and phrase line in parenthesis. Here we go!

(-Disclaimer, etc.-)

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, VIII, IX, or X. Nor do I own the characters contained therein. This is just a bit of fanfiction for comedic purposes. All Final Fantasy games and characters are owned and copyrighted by Square-Enix.

Length: 1 chapter

Rating: G (K)

(-BATTLE OF THE BEST-)

Squall, Cloud, Tidus, and Zidane are gathered for a battle to determine the best male lead of a Final Fantasy game. Squall is wearing his normal black leather coat and pants, white shirt and silver necklace. Cloud is wearing his outfit from Kingdom Hearts, including the ragged cloak. Tidus is wearing his oddly legged shorts, chicken-yellow shirt and sneakers. And, Zidane... well, does anyone even care about Zidane? No? Good.

Squall: What the heck am I doing here?  
(shakes his head)

Cloud: That's what I wanna know. I don't have time for this!

Zidane and Tidus are already battling it out, wanting to prove themselves as something other than just comic-relief. Suddenly, Squall jumps to one side, out of the way of a blade-swipe. He then looks in the direction the swipe came from to see the blonde, spikey-haired Cloud with his large Buster Sword drawn and held down near his left side in both hands.

Squall: What are you doing?  
(looking slightly aggitated)

Cloud: Look.  
(raising his head toward Squall)

Cloud: If we hope to get out of here, we should get this over with as soon as possible.

Squall: ...(silence)  
(pinching the bridge of his nose)

Squall: I guess you've got a point.  
(draws his Gunblade)

They prepare to start fighting, however.

Tidus: Okay, Who's next?  
(looking exhausted after having defeated Zidane)

Squall and Cloud simultaneously slap their own forehead, facing Tidus, and both sweatdrop. Cloud lays the dull side of his Buster Sword against his right shoulder and Squall spins his Gunblade into a reverse-grip in his right hand, then looks over at Cloud, who looks back toward him.

Cloud: So, Who's gonna beat the punk?  
(nods his head toward Tidus)

Squall: ...(silence again)  
(silent for a moment as he glances at Tidus then back to Cloud)

Squall: Match you for it?  
(lifts his left hand in a fist)

Cloud: Alright. Winner takes the kid.  
(raises his left hand in a fist, also)

The two engage in a match of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Ending with Squall holding his hand in the representation of Rock and Cloud with his hand holding the representation of Paper.

Cloud: Great.  
(looking obviously bored at the idea of fighting such a pitiable opponent as Tidus)

Cloud and Tidus square off as Squall looks on, knowing the 'fight' won't last long... and, he's right as Cloud quickly dispatches Tidus without even breaking a sweat. Tidus disappears from the 'arena' and Cloud turns to Squall.

Squall: That was quick.  
(looking unimpressed at such an easy victory)

Cloud: No, That was boring.  
(looking similarly unimpressed)

Cloud: Now, Shall we finish this ridiculous contest?  
(readies his Buster Sword)

Squall: Good idea. I've got to get back to Garden.  
(looks preoccupied)

Squall -thinking-: I wonder if Rinoa is mad...

Squall and Cloud then start sword-fighting... which, I find weird, considering that one has a large Buster Edge (waaaayy too big to be an actual sword, though it 'is' based on one) and the other has a Gunblade (a gun-sword cross-breed). Well, anyway, as for the winner of the fight... that's right, I'm not writing an actual fight-scene cause this is a Humor story anyway.

Squall and Cloud are standing and facing one another, each holding their weapon in his right hand and breathing heavily.

Squall: Well, You're definitely my toughest opponent.  
(impressed with Cloud's abilities)

Squall: Seifer wouldn't stand a chance against you.

Cloud: I don't think even Sephiroth could match you in battle.  
(equally impressed with Squall's abilities)

Cloud: Ughn! You... win.  
(starts to fall, disappearing as he does)

Squall places the tip of his Gunblade against the ground and leans forward heavily on its handle, breathing heavier than before.

Squall -thinking-: Even battling Sorceresses is easier work.

Elderly Male Voice: Excellent work. You have proven yourself the 'best'.

Squall: Who's there?  
(turns toward the voice and readies his Gunblade)

Heihachi Mishima: The sponsor of this battle.  
(walks on-screen)

Heihachi: Here's your prize for victory!  
(hands Squall a golden Heihachi-head trophy)

Heihachi: Bwahahahaha!  
(laughing)

Squall nearly pops a vein in the side of his forehead as he tightens his grip on the pathetic victory-trophy... until it shatters. He starts toward the nearly bald 75-year old and starts a swing with his Gunblade.

Squall: You senile old fool!  
(angry)

!Bloip! Squall suddenly vanishes just as the others did before him and Heihachi continues laughing.

(-THE END-)

Additional Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Tekken character: Heihachi Mishima. Just borrowed him for this pathetic Humor story. He and the 'Tekken' name are owned and copyrighted by Namco.

Ramblings: I shall refrain from saying anything. Review if you wish... I wouldn't.


End file.
